When we are young we are practically formulaic in our fears. Fear comes, fear goes — no matter what age — and we have no control over it. As we get older, we become more confident and begin to feel more in control of our fears — at least until our confidence level starts to dwindle and we start to feel the fear again.
If you are running from a fear — of heights, of being alone, or your annoying estranged cousin – you can overcome them. Immediately, withoutmissing a beat,immediately decisive, or moon lighting It will leave once this action is complete.
Let me give you a personal example — it will help you get a good understanding of overcome fears.
Me and one of the boys decided to go and get some counseling from a licensed therapist. Once he filled out the forms, he was with me for a couple weeks. I introduced him to the therapist and he immediately started telling me his troubles — bedwetting almost to the point where he didn’t stand up for himself, and making up stories to make him feel both responsible and guilty. In essence, he was running from any and all fears – and used his therapist as a sounding board.
Obviously, his therapist never took him seriously. The boy was given medications to numb his emotions and it didn’t stop his sexual urges. He was put on Prozac — also to stop his sexual urges — but it didn’t stop him. He kept coming back with more and more inappropriate behavior and anger management was the only answer.
I recommended that the therapist see him as a person — not as a boy who needed help “fixing his sexual problems.” The fear level in his audio- urine level was so high that he was afraid to leave the therapist’s office. It was decided that he needed to stay in the group home that came with the therapist. He was afraid of being kicked out. He was always furious — in his voice and in his eyes — whenever anyone looked at him funny.
This is pure and simple human nature! It happens to individuals who can’t see the nature of their fears, emotions, and desires because of being too deep into them. To see the immediate and realistic nature of a fear or emotion is of eternal value. You want to see the real nature of what is happening to you, not what your mind can make it seem.
What did I do to overcome my fear of being forced into the group home? I admitted to being afraid. There was no consulted, midway, crossing of my arms. In addition, I made a resolve that I would NOT leave the therapist’s office. I also asked if there was any way I could persuade him not to let me stay.
When I left the office, I walked out length along the high maintenance walls at the north end of the hospital. It was close to my car, even closer than or could have been. It seemed impossible to get there by foot, let alone a bicycle.
I discovered a small, knotty place in the hospital to enter onto a friendly sidewalk about one half block out, near the elevators. I crossed an elevator and walked down the stairs a few pairs of feet and into the main part of “my” building. There, I found the group home that was the object of my original resolution and I became the proud owner of that home, along with his sister! I found out that swimming was offered in the group home.
Then, as it turned out, my old friend and I were put in the same room together at the psychologist’s office, and we quickly became friends, especially after I was able to help his younger sisters with their math homework!
I dealt with my first fear, that of leaving the therapist’s office, and I came out of it. But the second one is much harder. Since so many fears seem to look like the real thing, we must learn to deal with today’s fear of tomorrow.
In short, don’t let fears control your life. You will run into all sorts of fears, both big and small, on a regular basis. Learning how to overcome those fears is vital to living a full and productive life.