Five Dirty Little Secrets About My ADHD

by Yafa Luria/Margit Crane

 

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There are many things I’m great at. This blog post is not about those things! I have five dirty little secrets about my ADHD that I don’t share very often.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how many things we folks with ADHD do well. I mean, Olympians and Gold Medal Athletes, Simone Biles AND Michael Phelps both have ADHD. Russian hackers recently released Ms. Biles medical records (to try to prove she was doping) and it was revealed that she’s on Ritalin for ADHD. But HOW COOL that we have such an awesome, awesome poster child for ADHD!

I’m sure, though, that both she and Michael Phelps have their ADHD secrets as well. After all, they’re human. There are things we do so well, and there are things we don’t do well at all.

For example, I am great at situations involving ideas, people, and humor.

And then there are those dirty little secrets:

  1. I didn’t check my mail for 3 weeks because I pay my bills online and the rest, I knew, would be junk mail. Somewhere in my head, I was hoping that the postal worker would throw out the junk mail for me! The problem was that, during those 3 weeks, I had a birthday. Imagine my surprise finding a bunch of birthday cards 2-1/2 weeks after my birthday. All of them were sent before my birthday by the way.
  2. I have a collection of empty water bottles in my car. I know they have to be recycled but where is the recycling? (Aside from my own kitchen). You can’t just put them in the trash and you can’t walk into a store and ask them to recycle your bottle. So they stay in the car until they start to distract with an odd sort of melody that I call, “Dance of the hollow plastic.”
  3. I use paper plates A LOT because I don’t like washing dishes. I hate most cleaning, so I have to get creative. For me, having fewer dishes and silverware means I will clean with more regularity, but when I’m tired, I pull out the paper plates and bowls. Oh, and I’m tired when I eat breakfast, I’m tired when I eat dinner, and sometimes I’m tired when I eat lunch too.
  4. I cannot brush my teeth without getting toothpaste on my shirt and on the mirror. Sometimes I think it might be like an early stroke warning (I’m not kidding here) because if I’m getting toothpaste on me and opposite me (like on my reflection basically) it either means I’m spitting in two different directions or that my double lives in the mirror. None of these are soothing thoughts.
  5. I make my bed about every two weeks, and let me explain: my bed is just pillows, a fitted sheet, and a comforter. So “making the bed” pretty much involves straightening the comforter. Like I said, I do it about every two weeks. I don’t even know what to say here. I’d like to blame it on my mother because, after all, everything is the mother’s fault, right? In fact, I think messed-up beds are kind of carefree and bold. Do you think Idris Elba makes his bed? I think he gets other people to make his bed. Or what about Sirius Black? If he didn’t have a wand, would he make his bed? No way! Hermione would, but not Sirius. Especially because he’s not real. He’s a fictional character. But I digress…

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If you only knew me by way of my dirty little secrets you might think me pathetic, a loser, immature (OK, that last one is a pretty fair assessment).

Call my style “colorful” or “wacky,” if you’d like. Truth is, I’m using the best parts of my brain for changing the world and being of service to families. For me, that’s a way better use of my time and it makes me ridiculously happy.

xo, YAFA (my new name!!!)

Copyright 2016, Yafa Luria and Margit Crane. All Rights Reserved.

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{ 5 comments }

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