Frequently Asked Questions about Coaching
“Margit is Coach, Mentor, Advocate, Angel, Teen, Parent, Lifesaver.”
–Sophia W., Canada
What is the difference between coaching and therapy or counseling?
Psychotherapy is a wonderful, powerful tool for pathological behaviors and deep wounds that are characterized by depression, anxiety, abuse, addiction, or violence. Much of our discomfort, however, can be alleviated by adopting new behaviors and by tweaking worn out viewpoints, attitudes and resentments.
Therapy focuses on analysis and interpretation; in coaching, the emphasis is on changing how you experience your life. Therapy sessions can end with the client feeling “unfinished”; at the end of each coaching session you, as my client, reach an outcome that becomes the springboard for your next choices, actions, and decisions.
What is the difference between coaching and talking to a friend?
Without a doubt the coaching conversation is friendly and compassionate, but unlike talking with a friend, coaching offers undistracted listening that is honest and exceptionally objective. The questions asked are designed with your best interests at heart; there is no hidden agenda. Also, as your coach, I have myriad resources to assist you in developing and pursuing your vision.
What is the difference between coaching and tutoring?
Though it may be beneficial or necessary to review and refine a young client’s study habits, I do not help clients with their homework or with the content or structure of a project. I would coach the client on motivation, time management, general organizational skills and/or how to access information from experts.
What about confidentiality?
My client’s trust is sacred to me. I do not give out clients’ names or contact information without their permission. I do not discuss client sessions, unless I do so anonymously, with a trusted professional, to better serve my clients. If I believe that someone’s life is in danger, I will consult with the proper authorities (a teen’s parents, for instance).
Sometimes teen clients tell me things that they want their parents to know but they don’t know how to approach these adults that they care about so much. They may be afraid of being dismissed as “overly dramatic,” “ridiculous,” or “unimportant.” In these situations, I help teens and parents come together in a supportive atmosphere of mutual respect so that both parties are able to express what is in their hearts.
Ethical Guidelines of the International Coach Federation
How does coaching help gifted tweens and teens (and their parents)?
Having a gift is a wonderful thing. Carrying that huge gift in a young body without the benefit of adult experience and adult emotional range can be very challenging.
And gifted kids are often misunderstood. For instance, sometimes the adults around them focus on the Gift and lose sight of the rest of the child. Sometimes the tween or teen uses their gift as manipulation to control their world – often with disastrous results that they don’t know how to undo. And sometimes, (actually OFTEN), gifted kids go into hiding, too overwhelmed by the implications of the label. This “hiding” can manifest as poor grades, challenging behavior, an irritating attitude, or other attention-getting tactics.
Coaching helps tweens and teens learn to channel their awesome power. They learn to embrace who they are and they practice coping skills that increase their success and their ability to create a meaningful life.
I help my parent-clients become more effective by teaching them communication and boundary-setting skills. My goal is to support parents to be loving, affirming, supportive role models for their children.
How does coaching help teens with ADD/ADHD?
Coaching has been a recommended protocol for managing ADD/ADHD for almost two decades.
Whether or not you choose to medicate your child (and that is a personal decision), the behaviors that characterize ADD or ADHD do not entirely disappear. After years of behaving in a certain way, we have created neuropathways (habitual reactions) that are challenging to remodel. Coaching works wonders in this area.
Because people with ADD/ADHD tend to be unfocused (or hyper-focused), impulsive, easily frustrated, and full of ideas, having a coach whose job it is to guide, to encourage, and to follow through on conversations is of immense value. A coach who is trained to work with people with ADD can anticipate possible conflicts or problems before they occur and can guide the client to a thorough understanding of the situation. The coach can also empower the client to make responsible and well-considered decisions.
ADD/ADHD can be a lonely condition because it is so misunderstood. Having a coach who intimately understands its ins and outs is a relief and a joy for kiddos and their parents.
What are the qualities of a great coaching client?
Typically, my clients have kids (or are kids) between the ages of 11 and 16, who are gifted, and who may also have been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, or are referred to as “Twice-Exceptional,” or have ADD-ish behaviors. (I have also coached the parents of children as young as 6 and have coached teens and young adults up to age 20).
I coach parents who are CEOs, stay-at-home moms, entrepreneurs, students, corporate managers, professional coaches, journalists, teachers, counselors, and health practitioners to name only a few.
They are:
• Success-oriented. They are successful in other parts of their lives and want to have that for their family-life.
• Goal-oriented. They can set meaningful coaching goals for themselves and follow through on the footwork.
• Responsible
• Brave-hearted
• Self-reflective
• Resilient
• Teachable
• Honest
• People who can laugh at themselves or their situation.
My tween/teen clients are:
• Verbal
• Inquisitive
• Smart (though not necessarily good students)
• Sassy or Bold
• Creative or Original
• Big-hearted (though they may hide it)
• Courageous
• A bit prickly with their parents and/or teachers!
Want to know if you’re ready for coaching?
call me at 206-326-8446
or
email me at Margit@MargitCrane.com
for your complimentary 20-minute phone consultation
